It starts as a swirling,
A tingle in my teeth.
It grows into a trembling,
Rising from beneath
my clenched and twisted hands,
Fingers intertwined to keep me safe.
A force squeezes my heart,
I recognise the signs. Too late.
A burning in my lungs
like I’m breathing fire into this thing.
My breath catches, shallow
My mind begins to sing.
But not with happiness
with negativity,
With evil thoughts and words.
My voice is lost, drowned out.
My soul cannot be heard.
Breaking down my spirit,
Feeding on my calm,
Pushing me closer to the edge,
Raising my internal alarm.
Doubt becomes my long lost cousin.
Fear my only friend.
This tornado of effects keeps building.
I fear it will never end.
Anxiety is my shadow
lurking where others cannot see.
No one knows, it’s always watching,
Hiding. Invisible. Inside of me.
I can’t find a way to defeat it,
As it tries to crush my soul.
But I battle. Every. Single. Day.
To keep it under control.
forgottonspirit 